Today, the paperback edition of The Blonde (along with bonus novella "Redhead") hits finer bookstores everywhere. Secret Dead Blog highly recommends picking up at least three copies of this title: one for you, one for a friend, and one for pets and shut-ins.Some of you, however, will only have to buy two copies. That's right... we have some contest winners!
The Secret Dead Blog Gaming Commission & Public Relations Board met for hours last night, and after much fevered debate (and broken cigars and spilled beers and even a sloppy, half-hearted fistfight) decided upon these winning entries for "Best Fake Redhead Blurb":
"Never has a book about the life and times of Ron Howard been so unabashedly sexual." —Shewan
"Not your usual bag of Polish pulp. Kicki the balls and ass! Get some." —Colman
(Honorable Mentions: David Terrenoire's "Shower With Your Wif'e's Friend" blurb; Mike MacLean's Tipper Gore/Hairy Man Ass blurb; Terrill Lankford's "blow" blurb; Felix Cruz's alternate universe blurb; Daniel Hatadi's duck blurb; Rickards' "Modern Hairstyling" blurb. You are all sick people. Oh, and special thanks to Tiffany, who wrote a blurb I really wish I could use.)
Big congrats to the winners, and thanks to everyone who wasted a few brain cells coming up with an entry. Winners: please shoot a mailing address to duane.swier AT verizon.net so Swierczy can get signin' and mailin'. We don't want him just sitting around here, drinking Red Bull and talking about RoboCop all damn day.
one word........YEEHAH !
ReplyDeleteRecount! Recount!
ReplyDeleteAh Christ, who am I kidding? Those two blurbs were pretty funny.
I guess I’ll break down and buy another copy. Including the novella with the paperback edition—pure, evil, marketing genius.
Speaking of Robocop... You forget how great a movie the original was. That film kicks serious ass. And it’s only 90 mins. A perfect, tight screenplay.
I got my copy already -- now I can see how close my blurb came to your narrative.
ReplyDeleteRobocop is mighty -- my friends and I (the friends that also worship and quote that movie) often say "Bitches leave!!!" Which only really works when the majority of the people within earshot realize you're homaging Clarence's line and not being randomly offensive.
Colman: Congrats, my friend.
ReplyDeleteMaclean: Oh, believe me. I don't forget. RoboCop (no kidding) is my favorite movie. I've watched it something like 50 times in the past 20 years.
Tiffany: You have to watch the "making of" documentary on the new anniversary edition of Robo. There's a hilarious bit where Miguel Ferrer talks about how Paul Verhoeven didn't realize that calling women "bitches" was um, kind of offensive, and would walk around giving the actresses direction like, "Okay, bitches you stand over here, then Clarence walks in, the bitches step back... no, bitches, could you move a little to the left. Perfect, bitches. Now the bitches stand up..."