Here's me, in my first pair of glasses in oh, about five years. Spiffy, ain't they? My last pair broke when my son Parker was an infant, and I never got around to buying (read: didn't want to waste the money on) new ones. Since then, I've been strictly a contact lens man. Put 'em in first thing in the morning, take 'em out right before passing out... I mean, falling asleep for the night. I'll bet you didn't even know I have bad eyesight.And boy, is it bad. Like, Captain of the Exxon Valdez bad. I've had eye trouble since 2nd grade, and even then, I wore glasses that were thick as the bottom of shotglasses. Come 1985, contact lens technology had improved enough that a 13-year-old kid could stick pieces of plastic in his eyes without too much trouble. Those contact lenses changed my life. I mean, I was still a serious nerd. But at least I wasn't a four-eyed nerd.
Which brings me back to why I've finally broken down and bought new specs. Seems that since 2002, eyeglass technology has improved to the point where my prescription doesn't require lenses that could render entire colonies of ants into tiny bits of insectoid ash with only a few seconds under a moderately bright sun. They actually don't look half-bad. Even Sarah, my daughter, told me I look "handsome" in them.
Still, though, very much a nerd.
I had to give up contacts becuase if I had them in, I was farsighted to the point of not being able to read anymore. Now I have bifocals. Argh. At least they're the no-line kind.
ReplyDeleteYours don't look that bad.
I have contacts, but I prefer my glasses and I'm not a nerd.
ReplyDeleteOh, wait: I am.
Seriously, Duane, you have no idea what's in store for you as your focusing muscles become increasingly rigid and you need to correct your vision twiceover. You've got about twelve years. But by then, you will have published your fourteenth or fifteenth novel and will be so dadgum famous that whatever fashion choices you make will be anointed as cool.
We're passing each other in transit. I, too, have worn glasses since 2nd grade, and today have awful vision made worse by (surgically repaired) detached retinas. But just last week I got my first pair of contacts since college (c. 1993).
ReplyDeleteYour glasses look like mine; I've gotten lots of compliments on them.
Dude,
ReplyDeleteYou look like a scholar. Really, its the new SoCal look.
I have been holding out for so long and I'm losing both my close up and distance sight each day. The cheaters don't seem to cut it anymore.
And, so what's wrong with being a nerd?
I have 20/30 vision "Points and laughs"
ReplyDeleteAlas, I have lazy eye, but silver lining! I can talk to girls and check out other girls at the same time and have a great excuse that can't be argued with!
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ReplyDeleteWhether they know it or not, that spammer has excellent comedic timing.
ReplyDeleteThanks to a freak childhood accident I've actually carried a tiny speck of 14th century stained glass in my left eye for the last twenty-nine years. Although multiple surgeries have failed to correct it, I still occasionally glimpse incredibly vivid scenes of religious beauty. Plus my eyes hurt if I leave my lenses in too long.
ReplyDeleteI gave up on contacts because I didn't want to start the day sticking my finger in my eye.
ReplyDeleteI still wear contacts when I dive, but on land I'm into spectacles.
Wait, that didn't sound quite right.
I hated sticking my finger in my eye for about the first two weeks. Unpleasant shades of Terminator; sometimes it took me a half hour or longer to get the things in. But I hate having stuff sitting on my face more, so I persevered. Now I don't notice, and will sometimes remove, replace, or otherwise futz with my contacts in public, sans mirror, sink, or socially-approved context.
ReplyDelete"Even Sarah, my daughter, told me I look 'handsome' in them."
ReplyDeleteTime to get her eyes checked, I guess...
Zing!
ReplyDelete